Liminal, Liminal, Liminal

”Time is contagious, everybody’s getting old” – Damien Rice

*You are being warned, there may be liberal use of the word ‘liminal’ in this post.

Last night I had a dream, and in part of it I was talking to a stranger about the circular nature of time, how nothing is really new because everything repeats ad infinitum. We talked about how even people repeat (not in the DNA someone’s child sense but in the ‘shop that does faces only has a certain amount of faces’ sense).

Then I woke up and a thought struck me about my upcoming birthday and ageing and the generations. I was talking to my sister a few days ago and we mentioned that both our partners were turning 50 this year, how we ourselves are getting there. I said “Gen X is getting old”.

Do I want to get old? No, not really but I accept its inevitability and try to see the value of wisdom that age brings as well as finding power in becoming the Crone (I have written before about ageing as a woman so I won’t repeat myself here ). I remember when I was in my teens in the mid 90’s (hitting 18 in 1995 was such a sweet spot, I feel sorry for people who missed it) I would look at people who are my age now and think how old they were. Now I’m here myself, I look in the mirror and see the same face, a little softer round the edges, less taut, but in essence the same face and ponder on how ‘ewww old’ I must look to my Gen Z/ Alpha nephew and niece even though in my mind and brain I am still youthful and vital and progressive.

Generation X are a great generation (generally speaking, I know I can’t lump everyone in the same boat) we are down to earth, funny, had the best music and we were fighters because we went through some stuff. We were known as the forgotten generation, the latchkey kids, the last to climb trees and wander outside to play (I will put a caveat here that the older millennials also experienced this, we have a lot in common geriatric millennial friends). This was a liminal generation, the ones who existed during the coming of the Internet. The early adopters of mobile phones and chat rooms. Factor in the liminality of these changes along with the liminality of being a late Gen Xer and crossing the boundaries when the generation changed from X to Y, I truly think it was a magical time. There was something in the air in the 90’s that can’t be explained or replicated. We liked weird shit, all my peers at that time were into UFO lore, magic, the supernatural and it’s carried through with us into our older years. A time of discovery, pushing boundaries, experimenting with psychedelics and a feeling of community. It also explains why I’ve finally found my Tuath of a disparate group of beautiful weirdos consisting (mostly) of Gen X/milennials via Vayse.

I may be being biased, I am after all part of Gen X so of course I will say we were wonderful, but I also have the advantage of actually being there, experiencing it and I know it was special. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t perfect, there were things that needed to change, bad stuff went on as it always does but it was bloody magical.
There’s a word in Brazilian – ‘Saudades’. It’s has no definite translation but it means yearning, sweet nostalgia, melancholic longing for something beloved. This is how I feel when I remember the 90’s.

Back to my theory on cyclical time, I have a crude (unscientific) theory that cultural changes occur in 30 year cycles. The 60’s, the 90’s and well, we are due our next one very soon (if it’s not already started). Then Gen Z and the Alphas can, 30 years from now, write rambling and nostalgic posts about what a magical and turbulent time the 2020’s was.

There’s some comfort in going through these cyclical loops because we know that they resolve even when it feels like all hope is lost. It is one big repeating ritual. This however, is not an excuse to sit on our laurels, we still need to agitate, to push, to create, to be magical and strive for better for ourselves and each other. I just hope that this cycle brings people back to the unknown again, a curiosity in the other. That the materialism (both types) that has dominated becomes obsolete as we peer back into the abyss and see that actually it’s rather interesting.

       This is me in 1995, 18 yrs old at a festival somewhere.